As a lawyer, (OK, as a lawyer who works full time as a psych nurse and gets nauseous at the thought of actually going to court....it's PTSD) anyway i sometimes think there should be someone to sue for getting breast cancer. I have not heard a james sokolov commercial on that matter, though. I guess i would have to figure out how i got it first. Several possibilities. My best friend from High School got breast cancer a long time ago, so maybe it is Girls' latin's fault. I seem to remember something about schools having limited liability, or was that churches? God knows i never spent enough time in a church to get cancer from that. Then, at least two other people I worked with at Childrens hospital had breast cancer, one of whom was a man, who complained about it for years, the big baby. So maybe it was their fault. Also, a bunch of nurses at bridgewater state hospital got breast cancer, so maybe it is their fault as well. By the way, no one died. And i remember most of the nurses from bridgewater that got cancer were people I did not like. So I didn't feel that bad when I heard. I said most of them, not all of them. I loved Jeannie G. So maybe my bad karma caused it.
Actually, there is one thing I am sure of and that is that bad karma does not cause breast cancer. If it did, all the Republicans would have it. All those bankers who embezzled people's pensions would have it. The kardashians would have it and all those mean movie stars that I hear about on E which i watch to try to wean off of Lifetime.
Well, i guess until Jim Sokolov tells me otherwise, there is probably no one i can sue for having breast cancer, because there is no real proof around as to what causes it. Fortunately it does not run in my family, not that I would sue them anyway but if i tried there would be nothing there. To be honest, i am pretty sure I know how i got breast cancer and I think future medical discoveries will prove me right. About a month before I got diagnosed, I decided to try to get healthy- eating healthy, cutting down on alcohol, and I started exercising. A month later, cancer! Just like now chocolate and wine are good for you, I am sure the next thing will be that sugar cures most diseases and maybe even recreational drugs are good for you. Clearly, exercise is bad and i have always maintained this. But when they prove that exercise causes cancer, who do I sue? Like, who invented exercise? Or I should say, what very rich person with deep pockets can i claim invented exercise?
Maybe I can sue those fancy womens magazines with skinny models who cause girls to get eating disorders and less obsessed women to try to do a few exercises to look good in their stupid size zero clothes that don't look good on any normal person? Well, except that I only read those to make fun of people. Maybe I can sue Richard Simmons. He is so annoying that even if i didn't have a case, they might award me something. I would like to sue Tyra banks. She talks about bodies and is also annoying, although I would have to lie if i were to say she were a big influence on me. i would definitely make it on the E news. Although, shit, no lawyer would represent me and i would have to do it myself and fear of court is a side effect of chemotherapy, even though Judge Kopelman retired and he is the only one i would feel wierd appearing before while bald. Guess i could wear one of the 6 wigs i purchased for the few months I will be bald and then hardly ever wore because they were too hot. Next haloween, everybody call me up for costumes!