Sanity is over-rated

So I am killing time after working the night shift and going to my cancer shrink. My body is wide awake but my mind is fucked, so I will be good and crazy when I see her. It would really be a waste of time to see a shrink if I were sane, right?

I got the cancer book. As I suspected, when I glanced through the diet section, they are kind of down on refined sugar, white bread and red meat. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that they recommend red wine and chocolate. I believe they said the more the better, I am not really sure but if one of something is good, ten of them must be even better, right?

I briefly considered re-learning how to cook so i could make stuff with that new fake sugar that is out that is supposed to be pretty good. The natural one, not the chemicals. Cancer book is very much against chemicals. Even deodorant, i am going to have to go to whole foods and buy Tom's natural. As I recall, it doesn't seem to work very well. I fear that in order to conquer cancer I am going to stink. Especially because apparently the number one "food" that inhibits breast cancer is garlic! Between stinking and having just one boob, I am not likely to get laid in the near future. If anyone knows a blind guy with no sense of smell, give him my number. Cindy's apartment has braille on the elevators. But no pets, although by law they may have to allow seeing eye dogs. I am not sure.

Also, my radiation doctor's office has free massage, reiki, acupressure, meditation and all of that stuff on every thursday. So I am signing up. And luckily for me, the cancer book's recommended "exercise" is walking for 30 minutes a day. I am positive i do two or three times that every day I work. And I may even go downstairs to the gym and use that stupid treadmill. I think you can watch tv while you do it. Unfortunately, I am forbidden to do any real working out type of exercise for several years due to my surgery. Otherwise i would be signing up to climb mountains and enter triathalons. Right.

One last thing that has nothing really to do with anything except that it was cancer related. i was out buying a birthday card for a friend whose birthday is July 19th, although who knows when i will remember to mail it. Anyway, there are these really funny cards for people with cancer, and people going through chemo. I am a little mad that I did not think of it first. There are also cards for divorce and job loss. I love it. Probably next thing will be good luck with your in vitro fertilization and sorry your house got foreclosed on. And of course the congratulations for coming out of the closet, which I think would be hilarious to send to straight homophobic people. Mazel tov! You're a Lesbian!! You know, i have always loved gay men but never really knew many lesbians until lately and I have to say I really like the ones I have met. Also, there seem to be a lot more bisexual people than there were say ten years ago. has anyone else noticed this?

You know, this shrink is really going to work for her money today, I tell you. Hopefully my next post will not be written while in a straight jacket. Maybe she'll give me really good drugs?

I forgot to add that I now go everywhere with my head unadorned by wig or scarf. I have about 1/4 inch long hair and everyone wants to rub my head because it is soft and fuzzy. Seems to becoming in sort of dirty blonde- brown. If it turns gray i am dying it pink. Eyelashes and eyebrows are back, and I am going to once again have to get a bikini wax- that particular area had an amazingly fast hair growth, wouldn't you know it. Cindy said to shave it off and stick it on to my head, but I declined. Maybe she should go to the shrink with me.