But it is a little bit funny.

rock and roll chicks

rock and roll chicks
this is me with spiked hair. It's growing in. Not the greatest picture of me, good one of Cindy but this blog is not all about her!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


I heard from two separate friends the other day, who both knew exactly what was going on in my life- or at least knew some stuff- and i hadn't talked to them for a long time and I realized it was because they had read my blog. So I think that is good for someone like me because I always think that I have talked to somebody and told them something and I haven't, or I don't say something because I think I have probably said it before and I don't want to be one of those people repeat themselves. Well I am sure I do, having such a big mouth. I just assume everyone knows everything about me. And now they do because I have a blog.

Yesterday was Emily's birthday. She would have been, I think, 23. 23? Wow. Emily is my niece who had leukemia. She is who I think about when people say that people with cancer are brave. She went through so much, pretty much living at Childrens hospital for months at a time, uprooted from San Diego to Boston for her last year of high school, going into remission and then having the cancer return. And she didn't whine or complain. I can remember trying to convince her to use the cancer card for something she wanted-come to think of it, it was probably something I wanted her to want, anyway she wouldn't. She is probably laughing at me- in a good way, I hope, ranting like a maniac about how this pain in the ass but highly cureable breast cancer sucks. Not only do I have a much better kind of cancer than she had- yes, I know that there are good cancers and bad ones- but i also got it after a lot longer life than she had. I got to have kids and go to college multiple times and try out a few different careers and fall in love and fall out of love and fall into what I thought was love but really was just lust- or maybe it was the drugs- whatever, and see Meghan get married in Hawaii and Laura go to school in New York, and move different places. So it's not fair. Obviously, cancer is not fair. As I have said before and will undoubtably say again (because i forgot that I already said it,) if it were fair, only republicans would get it.

And I am mad that I do not have Emily here in person to share my cancer sucks stories with. Really. Even though it has been over four years since she died, I will sometimes think for a minute, oh, I should ask Emily where to get my hair done when it grows back after chemo and then of course remember that I cannot ask her that. Although I do not doubt that she is with me in ways that I will always know.

So happy belated birthday, Emily. You know I am always late.

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steven tyler in a red sox shirt!!!

steven tyler in a red sox shirt!!!
not bad for an old guy