See how bad I am at keeping up with this blog since I don't have cancer anymore. So now i will probably cram a million things into this one, as I thought of a few cancer-related things this week.
First, i am not going to talk in detail about my teeth but the whole idea of going to a dentist- i realized than when i blurted out at my radiation doctor check-up (I am incredibly healthy) " Well when I realized I was not going to die from cancer, I figured I might as well get my teeth fixed."- I was absolutely telling the truth. I thought I had a positive attitude when I was being treated, and I pretty much did, but in the back of my mind I now see that there was this little voice saying, well maybe you might die so don't bother to join the gym. It's ok to drink a bottle of wine and take percocet for minor pain because you just might be dead soon, anyway. Stuff like that.
So, now I have cancer after-thoughts. Of course, for the most part i still believe- and did so long before I got diagnosed just last thanksgiving- that you should live your life like there is tomorrow. But now I have a part of me that says, but just in case there isn't.......
So now I am even more seriously thinking about joining a gym, even though it is one I will have to drive to, but they are having a special, and they have swimming, and I think that is the best thing to get my left side as good as the right side and make my upcoming boob job easier. And in the meantime, I have started hiking. I can go hang around my sisters house, and her back yard- yes, this is the one with chickens- leads to this forest with cross country ski trails. We did a big hike there Saturday which completely justified the sugar cookies I had for breakfast. So I have decided I like hiking. Remind me to add it to my profile. It is just kind of like walking (which I like) in a pretty place (which I like) and it is a something you need to buy special shoes for (which I am all over.) And I feel much better after I exercise, especially since my nurse told me that joint pain and stiffness is a side effect of the aromatase inhibitor (tamoxifin for old people) that i am taking, and not instant old age. And then last night i volunteered to work in a haunted house as a fund raiser for my friend's kid's baseball team. I was a psycho in a bloody diner and I loved it. I became facebook friends with the two women who were the real actors who do this every year. it was wicked fun and a great outlet for my newly discovered talent of scaring people while being funny. A fake mouse was involved.
My other post cancer after-thought was that I need to pile up some money- no, not in case I get sick again, I know I won't, but so that i can go to Jamaica at the drop of a hat and I think I have gotten a second job. Only problem is that although it pays better than mclean, it is in the same system as Mcleans so they will have to try to keep me under 40 hours combination at both places...so maybe a third job? Definitely too lazy unless I could be a visiting nurse to the psych patients that live in my own building, present company excepted.
And finally i have found a cause that i can believe in. Right here on the computer, well not this blog I guess, maybe facebook, I see an ad for the single most impractical pair of shoes ever. Spike heel open toe boots in hot pink. No surprise everyone I have shown the ad to has said, barbara, those are so you! But the kicker- if you buy them, they donate money to breast cancer!!!!!!!!!! No need to do those stupid walks- although if they were hikes, I'd be there- just buy shoes and support breast cancer. Oh no pun intended when I said the kicker. Sometimes I think I am channelling my father or his best friend, Billy Murphy,whose anniversary mass I would have gone to except I forgot.
So clearly, this is my destiny- to organize a hike through a haunted house with all participants wearing open toe spike heel pink boots to benefit breast cancer. If that doesn't warrant a reality show, i don't know what does. Are you listening, Hollywood?