OK I got that facebook thing that makes you feel guilty if you don't post it to your profile in memory of someone with cancer- We have a thousand wishes, a cancer patient only has one- to get better. (i paraphrase.) So I posted it but since i reaaly need to be totally honest at all times unless it doesn't benefit me, I had to add, well i also had a wish for a red sports car. And I must admit reluctantly that it is probably better to be cancer-free with a 2004 Toyota Corolla than to be cancer ridden with one of those really cute BMW 2 seater convertibles. Not a miata, Denise, my boss has one and I don;t want her to think I am copying her, although I did consider dressing as her for Haloween. But instead i am going to be Sarah Palin. My campaign buttons say, "If i am elected, every unwed teenage mother will get her own reality show."
But back to the car thing. I love my car. it has hundreds of thousands of miles on it and it still runs great. Unlike those prissy entitled american cars, it thrives on neglect. When the oil change guy asked me how often I change my oil and I said, I don't know....every 50,000 miles? he laughed because he thought I was kidding. As all of us that are not young chickens, it has its marks of character. There is the little bump in the back that i won't fix because i keep it around to remind me that it is not such a great idea to have an 18 year old new driver (who actually got her license on the third try) to be your designated driver. And it gets great mileage, and it is long ago paid for and for a while I couldn't open the trunk but now I can, so it's really pretty good. Since i am one of those people secure in myself who does not need a fancy car to prove something, i am good with that. Oh, wait a minute. i do love my car, but I am not that type of person I just described. I would love to have some fancy sporty thing that is the envy of all my friends- well not my friends, they would just be happy for me and I would let them drive it whenever- so i guess i just want to be the envy of total strangers. And people I randomly meet who turn out to be assholes. But I just don't want to pay for a big fancy car. i guess there is some mercedes that cost $175,000. That is what I paid for my house in Sharon. And it had 6 acres of land. So if anyone kinows of a charity that gives expensive sports cars to people that had cancer but don't anymore but still like to whine about it, please pass on my name to them.
In fact, I was thinking of starting a cancer charity. Not to give cars to me- I'm not sure, but as an attorney i think it's possible that that could be a conflict of interest. But it would be a different sort of charity, dedicated to helping people with cancer have fun. Kids have make a wish but adults, even young ones, don't. I wouldn't limit it to breast cancer. I don't mean to sound ungrateful- i am thrilled that there is so much energy finally poured into breast cancer research. Every fucking commercial on TV is a product supporting a cure for breast cancer. Today I heard about some place that created a pink bagel and all proceeds go to research fo breast cancer. I have said it before and will say it again, breast cancer is the new Paris Hilton. People that didn't care much about you one way or the other hear you have breast cancer and suddenly you are a saint, extremely brave and their best friend. I need to take a break now and puke.
OK I'm back. Seems like people with less politically correct cancers get the short end of the stick. That blog i stumbled upon and mentioned- some young student with her whole life ahead of her gets some stupid thyroid cancer. Oooops! Not politically correct enough. Like, what color bagels are they going to make for that kind of cancer. here's a hint- they are not. breast cancer is a good feminist cause because it mostly effects women, except for my friend Adam's father who is cool although a republican, and this guy I used to work with at Childrens who was whining about it on a daily basis years after he had his treatment and he didn't even lose his hair, so it wasn't even that bad, you big baby.
But you know what? all kinds of cancers suck. i am not sure about skin cancer but all the other ones do. Whether you are old, young, male female or ambivalent about your gender. i especially hate the cancers that young people get because of my niece Emily who died from AML at 18. I know i mentioned her before, so look her up. And that is one of the other reasons i don't want to get rid of my car. Emily borrowed it the summer before she got sick to go on a road trip with her firends to look at colleges, and I can still feel her spirit in the car sometimes. No she doesn't talk to me or change the radio station but I know she's there. However, I have not been able to use her as my designated driver yet.
So stay tuned to find out if i actually have the attention span to follow through on a non profit to raise money for young adults with cancer to have fun. because fun helps. Laughter helps. Going to jamaica helps. So if any of you are movie stars who want to volunteer to support my cause when i invent it, let me know. or if you just want to buy me a BMW, well i guess that's ok. I promise to let cancer patients drive it all the time.