One love, one boob.....

OK, this should be quick as I am getting ready for work. Of course, if Theresa is on facebook how busy can it be???? So, I know a lot of women who have had masectomies opt to not have reconstructive surgeries. I respect and applaud them. They are very brave, secure, not swayed by adverisements, and clearly aware that inner beauty is what is important. I, however, am not. I pride myself on being vain, shallow and superficial. I have resigned to the fact that I cannot stop aging- unless I am dead, which is possible the only thing i would rather not be than old- but to be old and one-boobed, no that is not for me. I am sort of hoping that those physicists at that place in Switzerland, one of whom is my step-son (I don't think there is such a thing as an ex-stepson, even if he is your ex-husband's kid) start working on curing aging but why the fuck should they they are all in their 20's and 30's!

So anyway, I look forward to having big boobs. For myself, really, not anyone else. Also there is the very practical reason that a boob that is attached to your body firmly is not going to get lost unlike a fake one. And spaciness is right up there in my good qualities with vanity. I lose car keys, cell phones and appointment reminders with regularity. Why then is it a surprise that I have to add ten minutes into my getting ready to go out time to allow for the search for the fake boob. For a few scarey moments, i thought i left it at Denise's house when i house-sat. Well, I didn't and come to think of it it would not have been as embarassing as it seems originally. I know that because i did leave underwear there which Denise's husband returned to me in the middle of a huge dinner party. Luckily they were clean. it would have been embarassing to leave it at the house of someone who did not know I had a fake boob, though.

Which brings up the new concept of dating with one boob. OK, I have ascertained from mostly rational conversations and one slightly drunk phone call, that there are guys I have known for a while that will sleep with me, on a prn basis, while I am boob-challenged. So they don't count in this generalization. Someone, i think it was my massage therapist Ray said that if you find a guy who isn't bothered by sleeping with someone with a masectomy, then you have found a real keeper- again, someone who is not superficial, shallow and who is aware that inner beauty is what is important. But the thing is, i think I am more comfortable with the superficial shallow guys. Much like Groucho Marx not wanting to belong to a club that will have him as a member. i think that if I found a guy who wanted a relationship with my one boobed self, i would always be thinking, "shit, there must be something really wrong with this guy that he can't get a girlfriend with two boobs!" Does this make sense? Of course not. But you have to wonder- is it some kind of fettish or something? Now, let me be clear, I am not talking about the thousands (millions?) of masectomy-havers whose husbands and boyfriends stood by them. of course that is different. if you already know someone and they are somehow changed physically then no big deal. I am solely talking about myself and the potential pervert serial killers I anticipate will want to go out with me when i am between full sets.

Oh shit, now i have to go get ready for work and I didn't even allow time to look for my boob. great.